Sunday Spotlight: MacKenzie's Story- "Patience with Pregnancy"

We are starting another new series to our blog "Sunday Spotlights" where we interview standout moms with exceptional stories and experiences.  These moms share their secrets of how they coped or continue to cope with life's speed bumps.  We love these women and are excited to share with you this week MacKenzie McFarlane.

 Lately, I have had a few friends come to me with their frustrations in trying to get pregnant.  There are so many emotions that come with growing your family and Kenzie's story is worth hearing about.  Yes, I am a little bias because she is my sister-in-law but her story of Patience with Pregnancy will encourage all those mommies out there struggling to get pregnant.  Here is our interview. Enjoy.



Q. When did you know you were finally ready to start your family? What was the hardest part about not getting pregnant?

A. I remember driving home from family dinner one Sunday evening when our conversation turned to the topic of kids. We (Ryan and I) both looked at each other and agreed that we felt it was time to start a family. We had put off having kids for several years but for some reason, it finally felt like  "the right" time.

I think the hardest part about not getting pregnant was the fact that it felt like it was time to start a family but wasn't actually happening for us. Seeing everyone else around us getting pregnant and not having any control over the situation was definitely a struggle.

Q. What are some ways that helped you and Ryan cope through your families struggle of trying to get pregnant? Was there anyone (or thing) that helped give advice/support to you that seemed to help? And what was it?

A. Although we tried to be stay positive, I had occasional low points where I really struggled. Ryan was always supportive and willing to listen to me vent my frustrations. 
He would offer his insight and remind me that we were in it together. One of the biggest lessons that we learned during that time was that God has a plan for each of us. We can try to plan our lives as much as we want but in the end, His plan trumps all. Our struggle with infertility taught us to have faith in that plan.

Q. What was your turning point to finally going to the doctor for help? What procedures did you and Ryan try (advised by the doctor)?What finally worked for you to get pregnant?

A. Our insurance wouldn't cover fertility treatments until we had been trying to get pregnant for at least a year. Once we hit that year mark, we were referred to the Fertility Treatment Center in Chandler. We loved our doctor and left our first appointment feeling optimistic about the fertility "plan" our doctor had created. After running several tests on both Ryan and I, we started our first round of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). We got pregnant that first round but the pregnancy resulted in an early miscarriage referred to as a "chemical pregnancy." We waited a month and then started our second round of IUI which resulted in the pregnancy of our little girl.

Q. Now that you have 2 beautiful children, is there anything you would have done differently during the whole experience? 

A. As frustrating as the whole thing was, there really isn't a thing I would change about our experience. It was hard at the time, we struggled, and eventually it brought us to where we are today. When we finally had our kids, the timing couldn't have been any better. Our struggles helped us grow and ultimately strengthened our marriage and have made us better parents.

Q. What advice would you give families in this same situation?

A. For those struggling with infertility, I have 3 pieces of advice...

1. If you've been struggling with infertility for a while, I would definitely advise making an appointment with a fertility specialist as opposed to an OBGYN. OB's can only help so much and tend to make those struggling with infertility feel more helpless than anything else. 

2. As difficult as it is, learn to be happy for others around you. There is nothing harder than not being able to get pregnant and having to watch others around you have kids. Just because it's not happening for you, doesn't mean it shouldn't happen for other people. Don't let this eat you up inside, force yourself to learn to be happy for others. Even if you're not happy, learn to "fake it 'til you make it." In time, this "faking it" will turn in to genuine happiness for others. Trust me, people will respect you so much more if you can learn to smile through your tears.

3. I think that women struggling with infertility tend to freak themselves out (me included) to the point where it throws their body off and makes it even more difficult to get pregnant. As hard as it is, try to relax and take it all in stride. When the time is right, it WILL happen. Have faith in God's plan for you.

Thanks so MUCH, MacKenzie, for sharing your story with us.  The McFarlane family now has two little ones, Maeli and Milo, and they are the cutest kids ever!  We appreciate your time and your advice, Kenz.

If you have a similar experience post your advice or comments below. -Cami