Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Its sharing time!

I was talking to one of my friend’s and she asked me to blog about sharing.  She is mother of 2 little boys but, also watches children in her home.  Just like the rest of us she has an issues with sharing in her home. (Surprise, surprise, surprise! – Gomer Pyle)

Why the heck can’t kids share?? I mean seriously, we all get a turn, right?!
As your little ones grow and develop they can really only think about themselves, they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes.  As our babies and toddlers begin to get older they begin to empathize and understand the other person's point of view but, that is a slooooow process.  It all has to do with their brain growing and stretching and making all of those connections.  The pre-frontal cortex is what controls our impulse control, helps to regulate emotions, etc and that doesn't stop developing until age 25 (approx) and doesn't really "blossom" until age 12!  Sharing is an advanced skill!
  So, what is a mom to do?

First, we can be proactive.  Let your child choose a few special toys that their friends can’t play with.  Put those toys away and when their friends leave they can then get down their special toys. 

Second, practice, practice, practice taking turns! Take turns building blocks together, setting the table, turning the pages of a book this will help your child develop the understanding that he/she will get a turn. 

Third, set a timer.  Set the timer for a very reasonable amount of time.  If you have a toddler, 2-3 minutes is plenty of time before it is time to share.  If you set the timer too long they are going to get frustrated and they still won’t have that darn toy in their hand!
Try your darndest to make sharing a positive experience, so they will want to do it again :-)

By the time your kid is 3 they should grasp the sharing concept and be able to actually share.  However, they will still need support.  Sharing is hard, they love toys and have STRONG emotions to whatever their objective is at that moment. 

And let us not forget that kids are tenacious, strong willed and work hard at what they want. 
So, take care of yourself so you can be prepared and proactive and help them share
How have your gotten your kids to share?
-Loni

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